Thursday, January 23, 2014

10 Tips to Enduring Your Child's Rainbow Loom

1) Break it to your kid early and often that you will not be wearing all the bracelets they gift you. Sure the first time it’s easy to react like you just got a blue box from Tiffany’s. But by the twentieth band your child expects the same reaction despite the fact they just made you one ten minutes ago.

2) Avoid YouTube-Lady-With-Long-Nails-No-Polish who does instructional videos without a child in sight. She has mastered the starburst, fishtail, triple single and more. But why is she playing with a Rainbow Loom? All by herself? For what appears to be for hours? YouTube-Lady-With-Long-Nails-No-Polish will make you sad.

3) There are never enough c-clips. There are always more rubber bands than clips. This is a conspiracy. It keeps you buying more and more bags of bands in order to have enough clips. It's like when a drug dealer gives a customer their first hit for free. That's how they hook ya. After the first bag of bands, you are just another sucker "chasing the dragon."

4) S-clips suck.

5) Starburst will drive you to the edge of sanity. You need a degree of some kind to get through a Starburst instructional video. And the fact that it's being conducted by Ashley a nine year old only makes things worse. 

6) Every time you successfully return a rainbow loom rubber band to its case you get chocolate, or a glass of wine. Because you will find them everywhere. Places you can't imagine. Bonus: Open up the vacuum cleaner and you'll hit the jackpot. Book yourself a Spa Trip for that one.

7) Rainbow Loom cases are essential. Without a case chaos will ensue. Of course the case should be included with the Rainbow Loom but it isn’t.  It’s a racket. (see #3)

8) Empower your child with a mantra for the moments they lose their mind over a rainbow looming error. I suggest, “Stop. Breathe. Try again.” or “If you don’t stop hyperventilating I am going to send you to your room and throw that Rainbow Loom out the window!” One works better than the other.

9) YouTube-Lady-With-Long-Nails-No-Polish really does have the easiest to follow videos. Watch her in small doses unless you need a good cry. French Manicure, maybe? Anyone? Anyone?

10) Just remember the hell we put Mom and Dad through with our craft projects. Hook Rugs? Shrinky Dinks? Chalk it up to the "cycle of life" or "circle of love" Whatever. And remember, "Stop. Breathe. Try again."

1 comment:

Artur said...

Sure the first time it's easy to react like you just got a blue box from ...