Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Five Reasons Why Beyonce is A Robot

I suspect Beyonce is a robot. Entertainer, entrepreneur, wife, mother, Sasha Fierce. She is able to accomplish things on stage and off that mere humans can only fathom in their dreams. 

Here are the top five reasons why Beyonce is a Robot:

1)The Show Never Stops.
Her weave got stuck in a fan during a concert but Ms. Carter kept on singin'.
A fan pulled her into the crowd during a concert and Diva kept on singin'.
She toppled over like a tree on stage but Bootylicious kept on singin'.

2)Nobody is that Beautiful.

Girlfriend hacked off her weave but still her beauty is like the sun. 

3)Nobody is that Rich.

Her and hubby Jay Z-izzle made ninety five millions dollars last year. 

4)She had the perfect comeback.

When controversy broke out after she lip synced the National Anthem at Obama's inauguration Destiny's Child sang the same song acapella at a Superbowl press conference. Only a team of programming geniuses could come up with a bitch slap like that.

5)There is more than one Beyonce.

It's not technical wizardry that allowed Beyonce to dance with former versions of herself in that Pepsi commercial. Those other "versions" are robots. 

Can you think of any other reasons why she is a robot? We can prove this together. Please share your thoughts. 

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Magic Tricks

My daughters love music. I have introduced them to my favorite Broadway show soundtracks and thanks to their older siblings they are up on the current music teenagers have on their iPods. There is nothing quite like hearing my three year old sing the lyric, "I crash my car into the bridge! I don't care!" at the top of her little lungs.

Sunday night I was driving home with the girls in the back seat. We had on the pop station their big siblings request whenever they are in the car. One of their favorite songs came on and they asked me to raise the volume. I hit the plus button on my steering wheel and the music got louder.

"How did you do that?" my six year old asked.
I almost started to explain the logistics of what I had done but then I decided to go in another direction."It's magic." I told her.
"Are you serious?" she asked.
"Do it again!"
"See." I waved my hand up while I turned the volume up more, then waved my hand in the opposite direction while I turned the volume down. I repeated the moves alternately while the girls squealed with delight.
"That is so awesome!"

My heart was exploding. The girls were fully convinced there was magic taking place. It reminded me of the moment in the play Peter Pan when Peter turns to the audience and asks them, "Do you believe in fairies?" then begs that they applaud in order to revive Tinkerbell. The children in those audiences believe it is their applause that brings Tinkerbell back to life.

As much as I loved that they were so easily convinced I felt a pang of guilt for misleading them. Eventually, I explained that I was pushing a button on the wheel in order to control the volume. They weren't disappointed. In fact, I think they admired that I took them on that ride.

When we got home I showed the girls the button on the wheel. They both wanted to "control" the music by waving their hand and I obliged by pushing the buttons up or down. Knowing that they were creating the magic seemed to be just as thrilling as believing it was real.

There is magic all around us if only we believe.